Journal of a _______

Today

2010-03-07T00:44:00.013-05:00

I've been away so long that I should start with where I've been, what I've been doing and where I am now. But, all in good time. Right now I am not starting at the beginning, but, in the present. By that I mean, the right now. The way I spent my day today. It was a good day.

This morning we went to the charming farmers market in Little Italy. Cute. Good food. Delicious clementines and tangerines and avocados and vegan tamales. Yum.

Today I unpacked and organized and tried, unsuccessfully, to sell some furniture on craigslist. It's difficult to move from a three bedroom house, with full attic and full basement, and big kitchen and dining room, etc., etc., to a one bedroom cottage. We are still two people, with two cats, two couches, two beds and lots of other stuff. Now, we have to fit into a mini house. But, I like it. I like living in a tiny place that forces us to move outside more often, forces us to inspect each item and contemplate its worthiness, forces us to evaluate each purchase on its usefulness, not on its flashiness.

This is our mini house before we moved in:

This is our mini house after we moved in:

Lots to do!

Journal of a happy me!

WoW! WoW! WoW!

2010-03-05T14:24:00.003-05:00

This blog needs a make-over! I am back, and better than ever, and my blog should (ideally) reflect this! Updates coming soon!

Tuesday Daybook - 11/17/2009

2009-11-17T17:35:00.010-05:00

Outside my window...is a gorgeously warm and sunny day. Time to take a walk!

I am thinking...about B at her interview. Good luck, love.

I am thankful for...wonderful friends who have opened their home and their hearts to us.

I am wearing...my pajamas (see previous post).

I am reading...Your Best Birth: Know all your Options, Discover the Natural Choices, and Take Back the Birth Experience by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein. My opinion is: Get out of the hospital, ladies!

I am hoping...for a job offer tomorrow. A Macy's seasonal employee is a very respectable position, even for someone with an MBA and a law degree, right?

Around the house...I get to hold and cuddle a 6 week old baby. HEAVEN.

One of my favorite things...is sunshine. It makes me smile, it warms me, it draws me outside and I miss it when it's gone.

A few plans for the rest of the week...Tomorrow evening we get to see the Doyle clan = sister, brother-in-law and nephew. I'd like to get a little beach time in too.

A picture thought I’m sharing...Where we like to spend our evenings

Journal of an optimist

A Life of Leisure

2009-11-16T23:45:00.019-05:00

Some days I don't get out of my pajamas because I don't have to. I am unemployed. I am not happy about this but, since it is what it is, I have to make the best of it.

Most days I wake up to the beautiful Quin. He arrived just one day before we arrived.

If I do decide to get dressed for the day, B and I may make our way to the beach or the Wild Animal Park or Disneyland. We have to stay entertained!

We also love to visit Mr. Silas!

Journal of a wanna be employee

Day 5 ++++

2009-10-22T22:59:00.048-04:00

After walking on Beale street we headed through the backwoods of Arkansas and got caught in a huge rainstorm. It was so huge, we had to pull over at the nearest truckstop and spend some time playing cards and drinking bad coffee.

Later that day we made it into the Lone Star State and headed toward Dallas. Pretty uneventful except for our first sighting of a Whole Foods followed by a delicious meal of salad and sushi. I cannot stress enough how tired we were of food that automatically comes with fries and/or texas toast.

After spending the night outside of Abilene, we spent half of the next day trying to find Abilene and/or a cool ghost town. Nothing. Terrible waste of time and very trying on the nerves. So, we moved on to El Paso.

El Paso was easier to find than Abilene and that made us smile. But, that was about all that made us smile about El Paso. We spent some time downtown on a self-guided walking tour and saw some impressive old buildings. But, for the most part the city could use a little revitilization.

After El Paso we passed into New Mexico and had a beautiful drive into Las Cruces. We got off the highway and drove along a beautiful rural road connecting El Paso to Las Cruces. The mountains were gorgeous. And we passed over the Rio Grande.

We rolled into Las Cruces at dusk and passed through the old section of La Mesilla. It was quaint and very New Mexico-ish.

We had excellent Mexican food and MARGARITAS at La Posta.

The next day we found ourselves in Arizona and peered at awesome mountains all day long.

And then we peered at the outlaws in Tombstone, goofed around and visited the dead.

And then we hit Tucson and the suguaro! We love the suguaro!

Journal of a San Diegian

Day 4 - Memphis!

2009-10-03T23:28:00.014-04:00

Memphis is totally Awesome!

- Visited Beale Street
- Ate ribs
- drank a Beale Big Ass Beer
- rode the trolley
- saw the Mississippi
- walked in the miniature Mississippi
- missed Graceland
- saw the marching of the ducks at the Peabody
- walked hand in hand and didn't get more than the normal amount of stares
- sang Elvis tunes and Walking in Memphis
- walked with our feet 10 feet off of Beale
- took lots of pics
- met the Godfather of Blues, Clyde Hopkins
- arrived in Arkansas

More Memphis pics tomorrow with captions. I am one tired girl tonight.

Journal of a feet got wet in the Mississippi

Day 2 & 3

2009-10-02T21:51:00.011-04:00

Hello!

L and B here, writing from Tennessee!

Yesterday we drove through Virginia, stopping to enjoy the warm weather. New York is currently freezing, so the warm sunshine was awesome!

Last night we arrived at B's cousin's house and enjoyed her home cooking and some delicious beer. I had a great time meeting cousin B and her husband and seeing a new part of the country.

Today we left cousin B's house and continued west to Nashville. Ahhhh, Nashville! Love that city. Live music in every bar, great hats and boots and lots of beer. We walked around and checked out the bars and found a great place to grab a burger, beer and listen to some live country music.

Tomorrow we visit Memphis and then head toward Dallas.

Journal of a wife not legally married in this state

Day 1

2009-09-30T22:19:00.002-04:00

First day of our travels! This morning we woke up early, said goodbye to our kitties, Sammie, Darcy and Al and were on our way. We made it to Carlisle, PA and tomorrow we will visit B's cousin in Tenn. Then onto Nashville and Memphis, Yee-haw!

No pics to post for our first day of travels. Hopefully, some tomorrow.

Journal of a gas guzzler.

Good night.

Friday Daybook

2009-09-25T09:24:00.012-04:00

Outside my window...Hollywood is shooting a movie. Car crashes, machine gun fire, screeching tires....awesome!
I am thankful for...a sister who understands me and supports me - Hi Mey!
From the kitchen...we are taking the last of our refrigerator items to D's house tonight.
I am wearing...my favorite brown striped pants from Christine and Tony and my favorite white jacket from my friend Ann Taylor, Loft.
I am reading...The Favored Child by Philippa Gregory.
I am hoping...for an excellent last day of work!
I am creating...adventures, happiness, sadness, unexpectedness, joyfulness and a bundle of nerves.
I am praying...for health.
Around the house...we are still finding time to love each other.
One of my favorite things...is hope.
A few plans for the rest of the week...Goodbye BBQ tonight, coffee and bagels with a good friend on Saturday morning, wedding reception Saturday evening, packing, Sunday afternoon with B's parents, more packing.
A "picture" thought I’m sharing...My new neighborhood??
Notice the Holiday wreath and the lack of snow!

Journal of [] me, unemployed in 6 hours...and lovin' it!

Borrowed Daybook

2009-09-17T09:35:00.011-04:00

I love the simple idea of a daybook. Here is a borrowed version from Psychgirl.

Outside my window...is downtown Albany covered in a hazy fog this morning.

I am thankful for...the smiles I get each day from my wife.

From the kitchen...into my lunchbag this morning I put vegetarian chili, yogurt with strawberries, an apple, a bag of cheese and carrots.

I am wearing...my tennies still, haven't changed into my office appropriate heels yet.

I am reading...Middlesex, by Jeffrey Eugenides.

I am hoping...for a stress-free moving day.

I am creating...a web of hopes and desires for our new life in San Diego.

I am praying...for a healthy baby boy for Amy and Denis.

Around the house...one will find boxes, lots and lots of boxes. Some are packed and taped, some are half full, some are empty, some are disassembled still, and some will inevitably have a black cat jumping in and out all evening long.

One of my favorite things...is a hug in the morning from my love.

A few plans for the rest of the week...packing, of course, but that is boring. Tomorrow my office is taking me out for a goodbye luncheon and then the spectacular sisters slumber party begins at our house! B's sisters are bringing their blow up mattresses, their alcohol and food appetites, their giggles, and their hugs over to our furniture free house for a night of reliving the fun of a group of 12 year old girls.

A "picture" thought I’m sharing...Wish I was sunning at the lake today. Or, just sunning anywhere, where is the sun! The clouds are rolling in today...

Journal of a journaler

Message to the 'rents

2009-09-09T12:24:00.012-04:00

Happy Belated Birthday to my dad!

Get well soon, mom! We miss your spunk...

Journal of a daughter who misses you both

Happenings....

2009-08-27T15:21:00.008-04:00

Busy times in our small corner of paradise:

1. Moving companies, estimates, weight, furniture, bargaining, comparing. Expensive.

2. My mom is sick and in the hospital. This is her first visit to the hospital since I was born 32.5 years ago. I am sad. She and my dad had to celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary in a hospital room.

3. Craigslist is helping us sell our furniture.

4. Our dehydrator is working to make our first batch of granola.

5. Every time I go grocery shopping at the Co-op I buy myself Kombucha as a treat.

6. B and I just celebrated 10 months married!

7. I haven't exercised in a long time.

8. I am reading Middlesex, by Jeffrey Eugenides. It is the third book I've read, in a row, where sister and brother have a child together. Consensually.

9. Have I told you how excited I am to move to San Diego! I can't stop myself from looking at apartments that are way out of my price range, dreaming of neverending sunny days, picturing my perfect shopping day at IKEA, fantasizing about farmers markets, bicycle riding, productive jobs, and on and on.

Journal of [] only time enough for a list.

Weekend, con't

2009-08-19T10:35:00.029-04:00

Saturday:

We bet the horses and won! The heat on Saturday was almost to the point of unbearable. Sticky, suffocating, inescapable - so we made the smart decision and decided to spend all day in it. Ouch! But, we had to. It was our friend's birthday and she was having festivities at the Saratoga Track. And she was providing drinks and snacks. The offering of drinks and snacks will get me to come to almost any event. So, we sweated for a few hours, made some dinky bets, cheered the horses on and then won! Then I drank more beer.

Sunday:

I surprised B with a trip to the local county fair. Once again, it was so hot we had to sit down every 10 minutes. It took us a LONG time to see the not so large fair. As soon as we got there I was ready to leave and come back again when the sun went down. But, since it was my surprise to her, I had to sweat it out. These are the things I remember: Heat, asphalt, fried foods, unsavory characters, unruly kids, untrustworthy rides, and stinky animals. The stinky animals were my favorite. I could hang out with sheep for longer than I care to admit. I really like them. And goats too.

The primary reason I surprised B with a trip to the fair was to see the main event: The Demolition Derby!

As you know, or can imagine, the object is to crash your car into the other cars and remain the last running car. It pretty much ROCKS! to watch. My only disappointment is that we didn't get slung with more mud.

To cleanse our systems from the bad food and general dirtyness of the fair I embarked on a journey to create Ani Phyo's Raw Sun Burger on Black Sesame Sunflower Bread. I also made the sun-dried tomato catsup and hot mustard to go on the burger. Delicious! We added sliced tomato and lettuce leaves.

Mine didn't look quite as good as this:

But not as bad as this!

Journal of (notwithstanding the above, the best part of the weekend was when B put the AC in the bedroom)

Weekend

2009-08-17T10:43:00.016-04:00

Happy Birthday to my little sister who is now 30!!! AAAH!

*************************************************
Sometimes I feel so out of touch with things. Things such as texting, twitter, Brangolina, Bennifer (are they still a thing?) Pepsi Zero, Twilight, anything on cable TV, iphones, music in general, and probably tons of other things that I just haven't even heard of. Well, to combat one little pop-culture mystery, B and I have been borrowing Harry Potter movies from the library. By Friday night we had watched them all in order and felt sufficiently prepared to see the latest one in the theater. So after receiving a (very) high moving truck quote from our friendly in-home estimate guy, we decided to believe that money grows on trees and treat ourselves to a movie date night. Many dollars later we were in the theater with our candy and water, and our Harry Potter anticipation. The movie was great and we loved it! For me the best part was sitting next to my wife with her hand in one hand and a box of Reese's Pieces in the other.

Rest of the weekend to come tomorrow...

Journal of a humid night.

The Latest

2009-08-13T11:12:00.043-04:00

I have pictures to share! Hopefully that makes up for my absence.

Distractions of life that have kept me from blogging:

I've been day dreaming a lot of what I want my life to look like in the next couple of years. I've always done this, as I am sure many of you have, but lately I've been doing it with an excitement and a dread like I've never experienced before. I think this means that I am ready to settle down and that I want to make sure I get it right. I know that this is impossible, the getting it right thing, because life is about change and whatever getting it right means to me now, may not be the definition later on. As much as I know this, however, I can't stop imagining my future, how to create it and how to avoid things that could go dreadfully wrong.

Reading good books again! A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, The Other Boleyn Girl and Wideacre by Philippa Gregory.

Searching endlessly for a job on the left coast. Chances are California will be growing by 2 more unemployed girls come October. Yowza!

Lamenting the fact that I haven't crocheted a stitch on the baby blanket I am making for Tiny Sheff since I showed it to Ms. Amy.

Chippook 2009 family vacation! B and I spent a week with my folks, sister, brother-in-law and nephew in CA. It was hot, dry and so heavenly. We spent the week relaxing by the pool, boating around Bass Lake, riding an outdoor train, getting an art lesson, etc - see pics below!

B enjoying the warm pool

My sister and nephew chillin' by the pool

Outdoor train ride through an old logging town

I love this crew!

Gorgeous family!

Bass Lake

Boat captains!

Drawn in the Bass Lake sand

Watercolor lessons

Behold the talent! Yes, we all have the same shirt on - my mom designed a 2009 family vacation logo and had it embroidered on a shirt for each of us...oh, moms

Enjoying the view

Another view to enjoy - Grandpap and Silas

B and I went to the coast for Amy's baby shower and took a little tour through the sealions

Journal of a job seeker

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-05T12:26:00.004-04:00

Lovely

2009-07-01T21:29:00.050-04:00

Uhhggg, I've been a terrible blogger lately. A combination of lethargy, new hobbies, old hobbies, rain, softball, yoga, sadness, bike riding and lots of kissing = no blogging. But, alas, I am back to share some photos of the wedding (or commitment ceremony, if you like, since it was in NY and we so far, do not have marriage equality here because our senate has decided not to work for the people any longer) of our dear friends J and H.

J and H wore beautiful outfits fitting their personalities and their vision for the entire affair.

The ceremony was very unique and was my first experience with wiccan elements. The officiant had a wand and honored the 4 cardinal directions, North, South, East and West. It was awesome.

The ceremony also incorporated specific elements: a shell with sea salt, a bell, a candle and ribbons.

J and H celebrated their commitment to each other with the handfasting ritual.

The setting of the ceremony was beautiful. I didn't get any pics of the grounds because it was raining, but they were green and gorgeous and stretched on for quite a ways. Inside the tent we were very cozy and happy and celebrated the joining of J and H for hours.

OOOOHHH and the cake! This was one of the best tasting cakes I have ever had. I ate 4 pieces and took some to go. It was so tasty I just couldn't get enough.

Wedding party!

Stunning bouquet!

Journal of a lovely day! Congrats ladies!

Always and Forever a Bad-Ass

2009-06-25T22:58:00.005-04:00

Journal dedicated to a genius.

Yoga Master

2009-06-23T10:25:00.022-04:00

I've never been much of a consistent exerciser. I love to walk and I love to participate in aerobic classes at the gym, but that's about the extent of my exercise regimen...and now that I don't belong to a gym (and haven't for 5 years) my only exercise comes from walking and sex (if you think sex is worthy of being called exercise, sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't). Either way, I am not consistent in my exercise.

I also go through phases of exercising - I'll find something I really like such as kick-boxing and I will dive in, kick-box for a few months, and then kick-box myself right out of my phase.

My current phase is yoga. I am in love with downward facing dog and the sun salutations. I could downward dog all day long and I am proud to say that my dog is getting better and better. The dog and I are tight.

Journal of another phase? Hope not.

****UPDATE for my girl: Cobra

I have been Walking with Dinosaurs

2009-06-18T21:41:00.001-04:00

Check out what I was doing on Wednesday night:

Journal of [] Awe-someness

Passport to freedom

2009-06-18T09:47:00.011-04:00

Yesterday I read the good news about the Federal Government's new passport name change policy. Our hard-working friends at GLAD filed a lawsuit in March when newly married Keith Toney changed his last name to match his husband's and daughter's last name. The state of Massachusetts readily changed his name on all state documents but the federal passport office would not honor his marriage license as a means to change his name on his passport. This causes problems when someone has two legal names.

I wrote about my disappointment when learning of the law here.

Due to the lawsuit, the State Department has changed its policy regarding name changes for same-sex couples who marry or who have a legal civil union or domestic partnership. Go GLAD! Go Department of State!

Journal of a frequent flyer

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-17T10:58:00.002-04:00

Oh Fresno.....

2009-06-16T09:09:00.020-04:00

I grew up in Fresno, CA, which has been in the news quite often lately because of its high percentage of yes on 8 votes. To bring even more visibility to the issue in California, Equality California hosted a big she-bang called Meet in the Middle in Fresno, the Saturday after the CA Supreme Court denied overturning prop 8.

Today, Fresno is back in the news with an unsettling story of a lesbian couple denied visitation and consultation in a Fresno hospital. The hopital where I was born. Box Turtle Bulletin shared the story:

By Jim Burroway

That’s right. Hospitals denying same-sex couples visitation rights and the ability to make medical decisions for each other can happen even in California.

[Kristin] Orbin and her partner of 3½ years, Teresa Rowe, 30, who live in Northern California, were in Fresno for Meet in the Middle 4 Equality, an event protesting the California Supreme Court’s ruling upholding Proposition 8.

After marching 14 miles in Central Valley heat, Orbin (who is epileptic) collapsed and suffered three grand mal seizures. A doctor at a first aid center had difficulty finding her pulse, so he called 911.

Orbin said the discrimination started as soon as the paramedics arrived.

“By that time, I was going in and out of consciousness. The paramedics wanted nothing to do with Teresa and she had to practically fight them to be allowed to ride in the ambulance. I remember one of them was very nice and agreed to let her ride with me in the back. Once we got to the hospital, they wheeled me into a hallway and left me, refusing to allow Teresa to be with me.”

The problem with the hospital started when the paramedic informed the emergency room nurse on duty that Kristin was a Meet in the Middle marcher. The nurse didn’t like that.

Fresno Community Hospital and Medical Center refused to accept Kirstin’s medical cards from Teresa, and they refused Teresa’s offer to have their medical advance directives and power of attorney faxed to them. They even refused to accept Teresa’s warning that Kirstin suffered massive migraines if she were given the benzodiazapine Ativan, which they tried to give Kirsten when she woke up. Kirstin was finally able to join Teresa when a doctor arrived a few hours later.

I had hesitated in posting about this when the story appeared because there was only one news source for it. But now that the American Civil Liberties Union has investigated and found that there is considerable merit to the allegations. In fact, because Kirstin has epilepsy, trips to the hospital is fairly normal. In a statement from the ACLU, Teresa said:

“Unfortunately, because Kristin suffers from epilepsy, trips to the hospital are pretty common for us, which is why we filled out the legal paper work to make sure I would be able to be with her and make emergency decisions about her care. But the hospital wouldn’t let me see Kristen and ignored my advice about her treatment. They ended up giving her the exact medication I repeatedly asked them not to give her.”

The ACLU and the National Center for Lesbian Rights sent a joint letter to the hospital today urging that it adopt policy changes with regard to same-sex relationships. It cites California’s Unruh Civil Rights Act, which provides that “no matter what their sex, race, color, religion, ancestry, national origin, disability, medical condition, marital status or sexual orientation are entitled to the full and equal accomodations, advantages, facilities, privileges, or services…” The letter requires Fresno Community Hospital to take the following steps before June 22, 2009:

1. Adopt a comprehensive visitaiton policy that:

Affirms all patients’ rights to have visitors, explicitly including same-sex partners and their children;

Outlines a clear process for determining when visitors will be restricted and how that decision will be communicated; and

Includes a grievance procedure in the case of visitation denial that can be acted on quickly in an emergency situation;

2. Ensure that your hospitals’ non-discrimination policy explicitly describes LGBT individuals as a protected group;

3. Ensure that your patients’ bill of rights explicitly describes the rights of LGBT patients;

4. Provide LGBT healthcare training to the Emergency Department staff at Community Regional Medical Center in Fresno; and

5. Participate in the 2009 Healthcare Equality Index, an annual survey of healthcare industry policies and practices related to LGBT individuals and families.

Last week I printed out health care proxies/directives for B and I to fill out. We know it's important - very important. But, they are still sitting at home, blank. This story makes me want to run home and fill them out RIGHT NOW. This story makes me so angry and so scared and causes me to reflect on the situation in this country. Yes, we are much further forward in our civil rights battle than we were yesterday, but I could end up in a hospital tomorrow without B by my side. That scares me. I also know that this story is a tame version of events that have happened across this country. That scares me. I also know that my little pieces of paper appointing B as my healthcare agent are oftentimes no match for the bigotry of people. That scares me.

For more info on the ACLU case, click here. I especially like the demand letter sent to the hospital.

Journal of me

Bye Bye Babies

2009-06-14T23:06:00.003-04:00

Our latest bunch of foster kittens have all found their forever homes. Bye, sweet babies.

Journal of an animalover

A Day for Loving....

2009-06-12T09:25:00.012-04:00

Today is the anniversary of the decision of Loving v Virginia (1967), the US Supreme Court case that legalized interracial marriage on a national level. Mombian quotes a beautiful piece of Mildred Loving's statement written in 2007 on the 40th anniversary of the decision in which she so eloquently speaks of the right to marry.

"My generation was bitterly divided over something that should have been so clear and right. The majority believed that what the judge said, that it was God's plan to keep people apart, and that government should discriminate against people in love. But I have lived long enough now to see big changes. The older generation's fears and prejudices have given way, and today's young people realize that if someone loves someone they have a right to marry.

Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don't think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the "wrong kind of person" for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people’s religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people’s civil rights.

I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard's and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That's what Loving, and loving, are all about."

How appropriate this statement is. Our generation is now so bitterly divided over my right to marry my same-sex partner. Hopefully soon we will see the US Supreme Court once again say "The freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal rights essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men," a "basic civil right."

Journal of a says, "Thank you Mildred and Richard Loving for making a commitment to each other in your love and your lives."

Finding/rebuilding/creating my spirit

2009-06-08T11:08:00.037-04:00

I've been feeling for awhile now the need for a change. Looking across the span of my adult years, I follow a pattern, quite unconsciously, of changing and moving and reinventing myself. I am preparing for my fourth cross country move. West to East to West to East to West. I hope to rest and settle and discover a new piece of myself with this latest move West.

I originated in the West. My first move East was an 18 year old's quest for self-discovery, education, independence and "freedom" from all things thus far known. It worked. I received a stellar education, had my first real job, met my first wife, explored the East Coast...and then wanted to go West again to see what experiences I had missed.

My first move East to West brought me to Los Angeles, to my official first job, complete with office and full-time paycheck, to my first unfurnished apartment, and to my first experience living with a girlfriend. I grew up and felt like an adult and had to learn to manage money and drive in LA traffic. I loved it. I adopted kitties and bought furniture and learned how to compromise and communicate. And then I felt like something was missing...some kind of passion...and I was sure that it could be found if we headed East and I was sure that it could be found in the study of law.

So off we went from West to East in search of something. I did find what I was looking for but it was not what I expected. These last 5 years have been my most complicated and confused years. A lot of who I was and what I thought I could accomplish has crumbled. My last relationship came to a heartbreaking and tumultuous end, my self esteem took a nose-dive when confronted with academics and I felt lousy about my chances of loving the law. That's what I wanted, to find a career that I loved, one that would make sense to me, one that would make the financial and personal sacrifices worth it. I want to love the law so that I don't regret the changes I've made and chances I've taken. I don't yet know if that is possible.

Socially, my life took a sharp turn when I met B. How I defined myself changed, where I was going changed, how my actions affected others changed. Re-evaluating where I am in my relationship building has netted positive and comforting results. I am happy, very happy, beyond happy in this relationship.

This upcoming move West represents the search for something new, just as all my former journeys have, but this one is a search not for self-discovery or the missing piece to make me whole, it is a move that represents an optimism about the chance and ability I have to make a difference in the world; to be the kind of person that I will be proud of.

Journal of a seeker

Relay for Life

2009-06-03T13:36:00.051-04:00

I am still recovering from sleep deprivation caused by the 24 hour Relay for Life. But, the event is filled with so much love and excitement and good work that it's hard not to feel that it's worth it. Our team is called the Earth Angels and so we don beautiful angel wings for the event.

We had a gorgeous display of baskets for our raffle and many awesome things to sell at our marketplace.

Rockband makes my hair stand on end.

B and I ran a Guitar Hero/Rockband/Singstar competition as a fundraiser. It was a success until our TV pooped out. B picked up where the games left off and played tunes for the rest of the day and into the night.

We met our goal of $12,000...and then surpassed it!

At dinner time we served grilled chicken, potatos, pasta salad and green salad to all the hungry mouths walking the track. Food is always a good way to raise money.

My favorite (and the most somber and beautiful) part of relay is at 9:00 pm when candles are placed in white paper bags reading names of people affected by cancer. The bags line the track and cast an eerie glow on us as we march silently around the track to the deep and familiar sound of a bagpipe band. This year I dedicated my relay to Aida, my brother-in-law's mother who left us too early.

We stayed awake through the night with the help of a campfire, s'mores and good company.

We watched the sun rise up and welcome us to a new day and a brighter future.

This year B and I became participants in Cancer Prevention Study-3. The purpose of CPS-3 is to better understand the lifestyle, behavioral, environmental and genetic factors that cause or prevent cancer and to ultimately eliminate cancer as a major health problem for this and future generations. The American Cancer Society's ultimate goal is to enroll 500,000 adults from across the county. If you are interested in participating, click here. C'mon, help out, it's easy!

Journal of those things that make a difference

Gone Smithin' - Class of '99

2009-05-28T22:56:00.001-04:00

10 year college reunion = good memories. The many traditions of Smith College are the backbone of the school and whenever I return to campus they are the things that really stand out to me. I usually forget about them until I step foot on the beautiful grounds and begin to think about all the powerful and influential women who are Smithies. The school, the women, the faculty, the students, the programs, the feeling of Smith - it is all very inspiring.

It was appropriate for me to be there for a long weekend because I really needed it. I needed the inspiration, the love and the feeling of home. I've recently been dealing with failure and insecurity and a little bit of worthlessness that creeps into my consciousness every once in awhile. As much as the acomplishments of some Smithies can be daunting I find that the sense of community overcomes all inferiorities. To me, Smithies inspire.

Traditions:

The Ivy Day Parade -

Class of '44:

Class of '59

Class of '84

Class of '99

Commencement -

That's the commemcement speaker Tammy Baldwin '84 - First openly gay WI Congresswoman (see her WAY up there...our zoom is broken, sigh)

Hot Tubbing (ok, well, that's our new tradition) -

Illumination Night -

Class Photo -

We had such a good time that by the end B was an honorary alumna and she took the role very seriously.

Journal of a Smithie

Breaking (my heart) News

2009-05-27T10:17:00.007-04:00

Yesterday the California Supreme Court decided that my marriage was OK for the State of California but that that's enough - no more of this same-sex marrying stuff. So, the fight continues! We will continue to expel myths perpetrated by opponents, we will continue to live as out and proud gay persons, we will continue to be responsible, repectful and hardworking citizens, and we will continue to love each other even if we are not allowed to call our relationships a marriage.

Albany had a small but effective Day of Decision Rally yesterday. We stood in front of City Hall with our LGBT allies and friends and encouraged each other to get involved - the fight continues in California and it continues in New York.

A small snipit of what B and I actually said:

(uhhhh, technical difficulties - I'll post the news clip when I learn how to embed code)

Journal of a very important fight

Smile

2009-05-21T15:07:00.018-04:00

My little nephew Silas likes to play poker.

Innocently he grabs the cards and chips and nonchalantly gurgles "let's play poker, folks":

Everyone wants to join in and pretty soon Silas has just two chips left (covered in drool, of course), but his grin tells us he's got something up his sleeve:

Unbeknownst to us, Silas is a chip hoarder and has a secret stash in his illicit game cabinet:

But, soon enough he has distracted us all from his cheating ways when he wows the crowd with his rendition of Yankee Doodle:

THE END

Journal of an auntie who knows just what he's thinking...

Equality and Justice Day 2009

2009-05-14T10:17:00.011-04:00

April 28, 2009 arrived with excitement levels high as close to 2,000 people descended on Albany for Equality and Justice Day, Empire State Pride Agenda’s annual day of lobbying. Busses and carloads of LGBT people and allies traveled from across New York State to have their voices heard by State Senators and Assembly members.

Equality and Justice Day is an opportunity for constituents to speak to their elected officials about legislation affecting the LGBT community. This year constituents met with their Senators and Assembly members to discuss three pieces of legislation. GENDA (the gender expression non-discrimination act) prohibits transgender discrimination in housing, employment, education, credit and public accommodations. The NYS Assembly passed GENDA in 2008, 108-34.

The Dignity for All Students Act creates a statewide public school policy prohibiting harassment and bullying based on race, religion, national origin, sexual orientation and gender identity and expression. The Assembly passed the bill in 2009 by an overwhelmingly positive vote of 131-5.

The Marriage Equality bill legalizes civil marriage for same-sex couples. Same-sex marriage is now legal in Maine, Iowa and three states bordering New York - Connecticut, Vermont and Massachusetts, as well as Canada. Supporters of marriage equality hope to join their neighbors soon by allowing same-sex couples access to marriage and the 1, 324 New York rights and responsibilities that come with the designation of civil marriage. The Assembly passed marriage equality legislation in 2007 by a vote of 85-61.

After the well executed morning registration process participants gathered in the Albany Convention Center for the welcome breakfast featuring Governor David Paterson, Executive Director of Empire State Pride Agenda Alan Van Capelle, Senator Tom Duane and Assemblymen Daniel O’Donnell and Richard Gottfried.

Van Capelle, a rousing and inspirational speaker excited the crowd with news that this is the first Equality and Justice Day to be sold out. He went on to introduce the Governor who stepped up to the podium amidst shouts of David! David! David! Paterson, a popular advocate for LGBT rights proclaimed that “we are going to change the law and change the culture of the way people treat each other”. In the first 1 ½ months of his administration Governor Paterson mandated that NYS recognize marriages performed outside of the state and now, in the first month of his second year he “wants to sign the marriage equality bill!” Paterson has introduced a marriage equality bill similar to the one introduced in 2007, which passed the Assembly but never got to the Senate.

Senator Duane, the first openly gay man to serve in the NYS Legislature, encouraged people to tell their stories to their elected officials as he energized the crowd with the chant “It’s not if, it’s when, we demand it now,” referencing the three pieces of legislation at the center of Equality and Justice Day. O’Donnell, the Assembly sponsor of the Marriage Equality Bill, shouted out that we need to remind religious leaders that there is separation of church and state. The Assembly sponsor of GENDA, Richard Gottfried, pointed out how embarrassing it is that many states and cities are ahead of New York when it comes to protections for students, gender expression protections and marriage equality.

Groups then split off to meet with their elected officials and others gathered with their groups to plan a strategy for the afternoon meetings. At lunchtime, participants grabbed boxed lunches and headed to Capitol Park for the highly attended and much anticipated afternoon rally. Hand-made signs pumped up and down and chants rang out supporting GENDA, Dignity and Marriage Equality. Again, Van Capelle rallied the huge crowd before introducing the MC of the rally, Alan Cumming. Cumming, a Broadway, film and television actor, introduced a line of speakers including Jewish and Episcopal leaders, PFLAG member and mother of Anne Hathaway who read a spirited letter written by her daughter, Theresa Sayward, a Republican assemblywoman who voted for marriage equality in 2007, union representatives and an ACLU representative.

Late afternoon workshops and closing remarks brought the day to an end. Weary travelers hopped back onto busses and into cars thinking about how to carry the momentum forward. It was a grand day in the fight for basic human rights.

Journal of (the text of) my first published article

NYS Assembly passes marriage bill!

2009-05-13T09:19:00.014-04:00

Last night the New York State Assembly passed the marriage equality bill 89-52. B and I were present for the long 4+ hours of discussion and while it was a long evening, it was inspiring and educational. From the notes we took, 6 assemblymembers changed their 2007 vote from no to yes. Most of them spoke about the change of mind they had experienced and to me, their words were the most compelling because it means that we can change the minds of people with our stories.

Our visibility and the stories of our lives are changing the way this nation thinks about equality and humanity. We are all familiar with the constitutional statement that "all men are created equal", but we each have a different interpretation of the statement. In my experience, more and more people are beginning to have the same interpretation, one that leaves religion out of the equation and one that uses the actual definitions of all and equal, not his/her own definitions.

The bill now travels to the Senate, where the majority of votes are still not on our side. B and I met with our senator's aide a few weeks ago and while he wasn't hostile to the issue, he wasn't engaged. This is a problem. If the issue isn't seen as important or pressing or worth the time to read through the material, our stories are not reaching the senators and minds will not be changed.

Being the gay media targets B and I seem to be, we were approached for an interview by the local news. My poor B got totally cut out of the speaking part, but she looked good next to me.

Journal of a citizen doing her part

Maine Street USA...moving in a new direction

2009-05-06T14:17:00.005-04:00

Maine just became the fifth state to allow same-sex marriage! Governor Baldacci has signed the marriage equality bill into law. The law will take effect 90 days after the end of the legislative session in June.

Baldacci's statement:

"I have followed closely the debate on this issue. I have listened to both sides, as they have presented their arguments during the public hearing and on the floor of the Maine Senate and the House of Representatives. I have read many of the notes and letters sent to my office, and I have weighed my decision carefully. I did not come to this decision lightly or in haste. I appreciate the tone brought to this debate by both sides of the issue. This is an emotional issue that touches deeply many of our most important ideals and traditions. There are good, earnest and honest people on both sides of the question.

In the past, I opposed gay marriage while supporting the idea of civil unions. I have come to believe that this is a question of fairness and of equal protection under the law, and that a civil union is not equal to civil marriage. Article I in the Maine Constitution states that ‘no person shall be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law, nor be denied the equal protection of the laws, nor be denied the enjoyment of that person’s civil rights or be discriminated against.’ This new law does not force any religion to recognize a marriage that falls outside of its beliefs. It does not require the church to perform any ceremony with which it disagrees. Instead, it reaffirms the separation of Church and State. It guarantees that Maine citizens will be treated equally under Maine’s civil marriage laws, and that is the responsibility of government. Even as I sign this important legislation into law, I recognize that this may not be the final word. Just as the Maine Constitution demands that all people are treated equally under the law, it also guarantees that the ultimate political power in the State belongs to the people. While the good and just people of Maine may determine this issue, my responsibility is to uphold the Constitution and do, as best as possible, what is right. I believe that signing this legislation is the right thing to do."

Marriage Equality Album...Join in!

2009-05-05T09:33:00.011-04:00

Show America What Marriage Equality Looks Like

Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders (GLAD) have created a project to show America what Marriage Equality looks like. Join in!

Five years ago, a revolution started in Massachusetts. On May 17, 2004, the first same-sex couples ever to marry in the United States stood in churches, backyards, and town halls, and said "I do."

Five years later, 16,500 same-sex couples have married in Massachusetts and 3 more states have adopted full marriage equality – Connecticut, Vermont, and Iowa. Marriage equality bills are moving forward in numerous states, and 18,000 couples married in California before Proposition 8 brought marriage equality to a halt there.

Equality means everyone.
GLAD congratulates and celebrates these loving, committed couples – gay and straight – who have joined in marriage in the past five years.

Join the Celebration!
We invite all couples who have married in an equality state — Massachusetts (since May 17, 2004); Connecticut (since November 12, 2008), Iowa (since April 27, 2009), or California (June 16, 2008 – November 4, 2008)* to help us show America what marriage equality looks like.

How to Participate
Email your favorite wedding photo to photos@glad.org.

Please include your names (only first names will be published) and the date and location of the wedding. Thank you!

Photos will be added throughout the month of May.

Here is the photo that we sent in last night:

Journal of [] what my marriage looks like

Visiting

2009-05-03T10:11:00.009-04:00

Last weekend marked our 6 month wedding anniversary. We spent it visiting with my grandma and aunt in hot and sunny PA! It was a wonderful ladies only weekend filled with good conversation, food and the viewing of Grey Gardens, the HBO version. Even Luna the cat joined us.

Unfortunately, it was a very short trip b/c the driving part takes 8 hours. Ugggghhh. It was a long time in the car. Luckily my grandma likes to stay up late and so our 6:30 evening arrival time didn't signal her bedtime. We stayed up late discussing what the world will look like without Bea Arthur and Guiding Light. Did you know that Guiding Light is the longest running soap opera? My grandma used to listen to it when it first aired in 1937 as a 15 minute radio program. The show moved to TV in 1952, became a 30 minute program in 1968 and an hour long in 1977. Some may say that the hour long show is about an hour too long, but with a history like that we have to give it a break.

My grandma doesn't get up and go much these days but, dang it, she has been many many places with her friend the internet. When she isn't looking up her stock performance she is facebooking or reading my blog or emailing family members to "send more pictures, please." She reads the local, national and worldwide news and even likes to mess around with the gossip and entertainment sites.

Next time I visit I fully expect her to be sporting the newest in bluetooth technology. I have a lot to learn from her.

Journal of a granddaughter.

Tonight!

2009-04-30T09:12:00.010-04:00

Tonight B and I are heading to our favorite local cafe to take part in Dining Out for Life. Dining Out for Life is an international event held in more than 45 cities that raises HIV/AIDS awareness and money for local non-profits. Restaurants will be donating at least 25% of their sales to help fight HIV/AIDS. Patrons simply have to donate their appetites to support this great cause!

****Update: I have just learned that this event is TONIGHT in more than 45 cities (my little mind didn't comprehend that it is the same date everywhere, thanks steady happy!) Check out the list of participating cities and restaurants here and go out to eat tonight!

Journal of a[n] exclamation: Happy Spring!!

Just a few words for this Wednesday

2009-04-22T11:13:00.004-04:00

Read more about this here.

Post a review of this gas station here.

Ahhh, the power of anonymity

2009-04-20T09:55:00.021-04:00

From Anonymous: Re: We lead ourselves everyday

"Kudos very moving and strong! Just be wary on your "MOM" comments. After all according to your blog you are thinking of being Mom’s soon too. Now is the time to educate are younger generation and old alike not use them as a laughing matter and joke about it. That would be like putting yourself at the very same level of the people who judge and ridicule you. I was so inspired until the "MOM" bit it was not all vital to the statement at hand"

Dear Anonymous,

I will not, and neither will my wife, be wary of our mom comments. You are right, now is the time to educate OUR younger and older generations and this particular mom missed out on an opportunity. That being said, the comment made by the child and the mom's reaction was ironic. So funny and ironic that I can’t help but chuckle at it. You should do the same.

If you don’t quite understand the irony, here it is: The mom exemplified just what B was trying to fight. B was bringing visibility to a problem (inequality of the tax system, marriage laws, embracing differences in people while still treating them equally) and the woman, in turn, was doing her part to make B invisible. And the child pointed it out in perfect innocent childlike fashion. Funny. And indicative of the curiosity of children, that, in my opinion, should not be ignored. Nor should the issue of civil rights for every human being.

Many people mistake my wife for a male, we have to laugh about it and then point out that we all choose to express ourselves differently. I may not like your haircut or your piercings or your mom jeans, but that doesn't mean I should discount your worth. This acceptance of people is vital to all the statements at hand.

Journal of a good life lesson

We lead ourselves everyday

2009-04-15T15:41:00.007-04:00

....in which direction will you lead yourself today?

I am so proud of my lovely B. Please read her story here.

Journal of a smile (what does his sign say, mommy?)

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-15T13:16:00.003-04:00

Potpourri

2009-04-13T19:36:00.017-04:00

Last Saturday night B and I FINALLY watched the rest of L Word season 6, the final season. We watched 5 episodes in a row and I loved them ALL. I wasn't nearly as disappointed as most seem to be with the ending. I think Jenny did herself in, and as sad as that is, I don't think it is as sad as if one of her friends had killed her. So, whatever the writers do with the online murder mystery thing, I am pretty much satisfied with the show and the ending. Now, we are cancelling Showtime! Yeah! We are also cancelling cable alltogether! Yeah! I can't wait to reap the benefits of saving money.

My blog has been lacking a little oomph lately and I don't really know what to do about it. As others have experienced, now that the wedding is over, I don't know in which direction this should go and what function it should serve. So, for the time being, it will just be a place for writing, picture posting and general boringness UNTIL B PUTS A BABY IN ME. Then it will become a blog of all things lesbian + baby. Yippee!

Here are some pictures of our latest project: kitten krew #3.

Mama Molly
Miss Marilyn Manson
Miss Cali, Mandarin, Miss Marilyn Manson and Miss Michael Jackson
Edible little faces!

We have a short trip planned to see these lovely ladies in a couple of weeks:

And we just booked our trip to see these fabulous people in July:

Journal of a girl with a favorite new book: Persepolis (check it out, now. It has pictures!)

Marriage Equality in VT!!!!

2009-04-07T12:08:00.006-04:00

MONTPELIER — Vermont has become the fourth state to legalize gay marriage — and the first to do so with a legislature’s vote.

The Legislature voted Tuesday to override Gov. Jim Douglas’ veto of a bill allowing gays and lesbians to marry. The vote was 23-5 to override in the state Senate and 100-49 to override in the House. Under Vermont law, two-thirds of each chamber had to vote for override.

The vote came nine years after Vermont adopted its first-in-the-nation civil unions law.

It’s now the fourth state to permit same-sex marriage. Massachusetts, Connecticut and Iowa are the others. Their approval of gay marriage came from the courts.

The Vermont Senate voted earlier this morning to override Gov. Jim Douglas' veto of the same-sex marriage legislation.

The vote passed, 23-5.

Journal of a New Yorker surrounded by smart states

Yee-Haw Iowa! (first time I've ever said that)

2009-04-03T11:08:00.005-04:00

Empire State Pride Agenda -- April 3, 2009--We are thrilled that the Iowa Supreme Court has done the right thing and ended discrimination against thousands of loving, committed same-sex couples by allowing them access to the literally hundreds of protections that come with marriage. We are happy that another state has joined Massachusetts and Connecticut in declaring that nothing short of full marriage equality will put an end to the hardships that many of our families experience on a daily basis.

Good article here.

Journal of a girl who wouldn't mind visiting Iowa again someday

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-01T13:26:00.003-04:00

Cowboy Hat Day

2009-03-27T19:36:00.008-04:00

I have to say I did not prepare for Tina's Cowboy Hat Day - luckily I have some pics from last year in which I tried to channel Louise (Thelma asked to be edited out). Enjoy!

uh-oh, I officially have 2 legal names

2009-03-27T12:22:00.010-04:00

This has recently been discovered by me:

Same sex marriage certificates, certificates of civil union or certificates of domestic partnership, whether foreign or domestic, are not acceptable evidence for recognizing an immediate name change for use in a U.S. passport.

Donald Henneberger, formerly Donald Smith, recently received a letter from the National Passport Center in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, denying his request for a name change on his passport. The center said it would not recognize a marriage license for a same-sex couple as proof of a name change. . .
There are two ways same-sex couples can get the name on their passports changed. They can submit documentation of a “court ordered name change,”. Or, they can establish “customary usage.”
Customary usage must be supported by documents showing the name has been used for a five-year period. In five years, a same-sex marriage license could be used as one of those documents.

"We are unable to comply with your request for a name change based on the documentation you sent because of the Defense of Marriage Act ...," the letter states.

Yesterday I completed all of my paperwork for my new passport with my new name. Today I can throw that paperwork in the trash can.

Journal of a person who has something to say to Clinton: Your little DOMA project has secured the government's right to discriminate against its citizens, even if you think discrimination has no place in American society.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-03-25T11:09:00.005-04:00

My taxes + the census = not counted

2009-03-24T12:10:00.014-04:00

I just finished filling out my tax return. Turbo tax asks cherfully if anything has changed over the last year. If I happened to be married in 2008 there is a cute little box to check next to a picture of a diamond ring. Well, yes indeed I was married in 2008, let me go ahead and check that box. OHHHHH, But wait a minute. Unless I want the government knocking down my door for fraud, I better rethink my marital status. Let's see, how does the federal government see me? Oh, right, they see me as a single person, paying taxes, ineligible for the 1,138 federal benefits for married couples. Got it! Let me put on my second-class citizen jumpsuit. Ahhh, there, now that's better. Thanks federal government for forcing me to check the single box, again, even though I really do have a wife. Maybe next year.

The 2010 census is, of course, another undertaking by the federal government, so I shouldn't expect anything different, but I do. I expect that our community and our families will be counted properly and I expect that married same-sex couples will be counted as such. The 2010 census will not meet my expectations.

"If two people of the same sex identify as husband and husband or wife and wife, the census will retain that answer, but when results are released those people will be counted as unmarried partners."

Hmmm, looks as if I will be checking the married box. If we will still be counted as unmarried partners and we are both of the same sex (so that we can be counted in other studies) I see no reason not to respond as married. Suck it, census.

Journal of a citizen

Purchase

2009-03-21T21:53:00.012-04:00

Love my new purchase! I haven't bought a purse in say, 8 years, at least. I carry one everyday but I've always been too cheap to actually spend real money directly on a bag. I've gotten away with using the bags that come as part of my FREE gifts from Lancome and Clinique. I am still too cheap to pay full price and happy to report that I got this bag for more than 50% off. Awww, yeah!!

Since it was at such a deep discount, the internet seems to have removed all pictures of it. Just use your imagination and combine the pictures below. The first represents the style, the second the color. It even has a light inside! The most remarkable thing to me is that it has pockets, lots of them. While the FREE bags I've been using have been, well, FREE, they have a severe lack of pockets, forcing me to give them a thumbs down on functionality.

Journal of a girly girl (sometimes)

Wordless Wednesday

2009-03-18T10:42:00.003-04:00

I am trying very hard to make a comeback

2009-03-16T11:39:00.007-04:00

I always like to have one major project to work on in my free time - something I can throw myself into and something that produces results. Sometimes it is a self improvement project such as studying for the bar exam, exercising or job searching. Sometimes it is a project for my enjoyment such as planning a wedding or planning a vacation. Some projects are shorter, even lasting only a couple of hours like quickly changing my image with a new hair color and new outfit. Some last a little longer like planning a surprise for B or planning a party (for Darcy!)

Right now I am embarking on two major projects, making a move across the country (and all the planning that comes along with something this HUGE) and starting a family (and all the planning and long talks and lists that are created for something this HUGE). The problem with these two monstrous projects is that I am not yet quite ready to start with either one. This means that I am searching for purpose every evening after work. I don’t like this. It means that I am unfocused, unproductive and most likely to just plop down in front of the tele and get sucked into some hour long police mystery. Hour after hour.

Last Wednesday I started working on this quagmire. I enrolled in a once weekly yoga class. This falls under the self improvement project category and the enjoyment category. I love yoga. I love the simultaneous mind and body workout/healing. But, once a week yoga isn’t really a very time consuming project. Twice a week, maybe, but that still won’t really quench my desire for a project.

This week I will continue to work on my problem. I have started composing a list in my mind of small projects that will carry me through the next few weeks - until B and I decide that it is the right time to start searching/applying for jobs in Cali and making a baby (just kidding on the latter, that comes after the move). My list isn’t all that fun and is composed mostly of cleaning projects. Much to B’s dismay (when she hears about this), one of the projects includes her and just happens to be the largest cleaning project (get ready, love).

What I like about cleaning projects is that the results are immediate and satisfying. Pick up that pile of papers, whaa-BAM, that spot is now clean; clean the dishes off the counter, boo-YAH, the counter appears; put my piles of clothes away, sha-ZAM, the bedroom looks bigger.

And now, some ideas for my creative summer project...someone has a baby on the way!!

Journal of a blogger (this blog is another project that could use a little TLC)

Wordless Wednesday

2009-03-11T10:19:00.003-04:00

Perhaps you thought I fell in a snow bank and got stuck

2009-03-07T22:08:00.020-05:00

Bullet point catch up:

Enjoyed 11 days of gorgeous warm weather and sunshine

Missed my wife

Took the grueling 3 day California Bar Exam

Survived

Visited with Mom, Michelle, Mey, Eamonn, Silas, David, Amy, Shannon, Brady, Maedell, Harold, Uncle Steve

Went for many many walks outside without freezing

Got heartwarming news that made tears run down my face, the good kind of tears that were uncontrollable and got caught in the corners of my smile

Realized how much I missed Los Angeles

Loved my morning walks to Starbucks, even better when my mom joined me

Ate real Mexican food

Spent a very fun but very long day at Disneyland and California Adventure

Shopped at Trader Joe's (oh how I miss TJ's) - thanks Michelle!

Celebrated my mom's birthday with shots of vodka, the beach, a play and family

Witnessed my nephew walking

Visited an open house - just a mere $2 million and the house could be mine

Confirmed that I am ready to make a big change and move to California again

Journal of [] me who is tired of wearing a wool coat

Wordless Wednesday

2009-02-18T13:59:00.008-05:00

This is my first Wordless Wednesday post so I am allowing myself a few words. First, thanks to Tina for the idea. Second, this is one of my favorite wedding pictures - the scenery, the colors, my beloved, it all just takes my breath away.

Celebrate Love with the eyes

2009-02-14T18:44:00.011-05:00

Nothing says LOVE like THIS girl looking at me like THAT

Or like THIS

Or even like THIS

Happy Valentine's Day to a girl who knows what to do with her eyes from Journal of a girl who melts in your presence

The Things We Borrow

2009-02-12T09:36:00.024-05:00

I am a pretty average person, live my life in a pretty average way and can generally relate to people pretty well. So when I sat down to think about the borrowed theme for today, in honor of Freedom to Marry week, I realized that the average person borrows a lot each day. This is not a bad thing. We all borrow and we all allow others to borrow. The most common uses of the word borrow are

to take or obtain with the promise to return the same or an equivalent (I would like to borrow your red dress for my hot date tonight. I'll give it back unless it gets ripped off of me and then I'll buy you a new one.)

to use, appropriate, or introduce from another source (I borrowed this definition from dictionary.com)

I borrow things because I like to improve myself everyday. Some people are good writers, or builders, or joke tellers, or cooks, or deep thinkers or sex goddesses, or political genius', or financial wizards, or mothers, or satirists, or drivers. We borrow ideas and learn from other people everyday. Borrowing is good. Some people have a collection of really good books to borrow too, or good clothes, or recipes.

I don't know when, how or why the tradition of borrowing something for one's wedding came to be (and I am not sure I really want to know, probably some crazy man, woman, you are my property now, crap) but we used it at our wedding to honor the person we borrowed it from. Both B and I held hankies from our grandmothers. My everyday borrowing doesn't necessarily honor the person allowing the borrow, but in some ways it does.

Things I have borrowed:

"Your hand fits my hand" the quote inside B's wedding band

B's good mood on days when I don't have one

fashion advice from my new Glamour magazine

a book from the library

playfulness from the kittens

wedding ideas from the knot

the bathrobe I am now wearing

ideas from my fellow bloggers

sentimental feelings from the people I love (turning them into my own)

this template from blogger

song tunes

Journal of [the] giving and taking that makes the world go round

Freedom to Marry - An old picture of my dad

2009-02-10T23:10:00.017-05:00

In honor of Freedom to Marry Week I am following the call from The Other Mother to post something old. Here is the schedule she created: we'll see if I can keep up.

Tuesday, Feb. 10... Something Old
Wednesday, Feb. 11... Something New
Thursday, Feb. 12... Something Borrowed
Friday, Feb. 13... Something Blue
Saturday, Feb. 14... Valentine's Day: Celebrate Love

This is a picture of my dad a long time ago, making it relatively old to me. The significance of the photo is the person in it. He is significant in my life for many reasons but he also played a large role in my freedom to marry. Not only did he actually perform my marriage, but he enabled it (homosexual enabler as hate-spreading Phelps likes to say, loving, intelligent father, as I like to say).

He enabled my freedom to marry by teaching and loving with his heart first, always. He has spent more than half of his life shaping and creating his daughters. He has taught me to be stubborn, to not take any crap and to fight for the kind of change I'd like to see in this world. His kind eyes and gentle gestures have shaped me into a person willing to see the good in people, places and things and to be patient with the tides of change, but not sit back and let the tides change me (too much).

The young boy in the picture above is the person I know as my dad. He has enabled this daughter to seek happiness and to find freedom in marrying the person she loves. The freedom (ability) to be able to marry whomever one wants is important but to find freedom (comfort, happiness) in marrying, while the world is judging so harshly, is a gift I am lucky enough to have received.

Journal of a positive enabler (I hope)

Time Flies...

2009-02-08T22:14:00.013-05:00

Well, it's been a week since I posted last and it's been 3 months since the wedding, so I thought I'd post about how we thought it was finally time to get the thank you cards out. We printed these awesome cards from shutterfly. And we just finished filling them all out - they will go in the mail tomorrow.

In other news it's about time to help our kittens find their forever homes. This weekend we will take them to the adoption clinic and hope that nice sweet people will adopt them. They have grown so well in our house and they've developed such wonderful little personalities.

Journal of an extremely unimaginative post

February Flowers

2009-02-01T20:11:00.021-05:00

Happy February!
In honor of the (commercialized) month of love and flowers I would like to introduce my budget wedding flowers. I laid down three Lincolns at Costco and got a stunning mixture of colorful roses.

Each guest was handed a rose as they lined up along the aisle. As I walked down I greeted each guest and collected their flower. It was a wonderful way to say hello to everybody and have each person be a part of the 'building of the bouquet'. At the end of the aisle my mom and sister helped bind the flowers with ribbon and viola, my bouquet was born!

Journal of a flower

Lists

2009-01-24T14:11:00.008-05:00

This is a list of 25 things about me. I composed it on facebook and decided to share it here. It's not a perfect list of 25 things about me, but it's satisfactory.

1. I have 5 beautiful foster kittens living with me

2. In February I will take the California Bar Exam

3. My first little nephew, Silas was born a year ago. I watched the birth and even video taped it. Best movie I ever made!

4. I've been married for 3 months

5. My dad performed the ceremony

6. My wife made me cry during her vows

7. I wish I liked tofu more

8. Some days I feel like a loser

9. I have one earlobe that is bigger than the other

10. I like chocolate more than I let on

11. Grammatical mistakes make me lose respect for people

12. I am trying to not be so judgmental

13. Really, I am working on it!

14. I keep a blog; some posts are better than others

15. I've recently realized that I want to have a baby...come out of me....not just adopt

16. I love green bell peppers

17. I've made some mistakes in life

18. I think about the people I love dying; this is a very recent thing

19. My bedroom is painted deep orange

20. I took my wife's last name

21. It would be nice to set some goals for myself

22. Goal number one: set goals

23. I wish I was a better singer, dancer, writer and artist. I don't wish I was a better person

24. This list is difficult to write

25. I feel so lucky to live the life I live

When B was put to the challenge, this is how she described 25 things about herself.

1. My left nipple is pierced.

2. I chew my nails... a lot.

3. I chew my pen caps, too.

4. I love poker.

5. I love my wife (married 10/25.)

6. I am generally lazy.

7. Goal 1 - try to be less lazy.

8. Goal 2 - impregnate my wife. We want to have a baby.

9. Goal 3 - get rid of crap in attic and basement...you don't need it, but someone else might, hello Craigslist.

10. I just recently lost 40lbs.

11. I gained some back, but only about 5lbs.

12. My wife amazes me more and more each day. I believe she is a very strong and good hearted woman.

13. This amazement makes me cry sometimes.

14. I have 2 nieces and 3 nephews. So cool.

15. I want to be a poker dealer.

16. I do the laundry and clean the kitchen after dinner. My wife does most of the cooking. She doesn't fold clothes well and I don't cook well so it all works out.

17. I screw up my grammer often, to the bane of my wife.

18. My favorite movie is Wizard of Oz. But Butch Jamie is a close second :)

19. I own a Barry Manilow cd. Ssssshhhhh

20. I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I own the entire series) and can rewatch it over and over.

21. Ditto Queer as Folk.

22. I want to be Brian Kinney.

23. After I die, I want to come back as a hot gay man.

24. I wish my parents would support my marriage.

25. I hope that in my lifetime, marriage is for everyone and no one has to "come out" anymore.

Family

2009-01-22T21:34:00.009-05:00

I don't have much time to write these days but I have a need to see my blog change more often than once a week. The solution is to post pictures of people I love.

Journal of a girl investing time to better place herself in the world

A quote that speaks to me

2009-01-21T15:11:00.007-05:00

I distrust those who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.
Susan B. Anthony

I've been wrestling lately with religion and the way religion is so misused by some to keep others down. I don't understand when God became so hateful. Why would people want their God to be hateful?

Journal of a sad believer

Honeymoon Rainbows

2009-01-16T22:47:00.015-05:00

We spotted our first rainbow as we were flying into Antigua. For the next couple of days they seemed to follow us.

.

Today the high here was a sweltering 11 degrees. Double digits for the first time in days. I was dreaming of being here all day today.

Our little heaven was perfect.

But, back to reality.....

Journal of a few words

OK, about time for another honeymoon post

2009-01-09T21:14:00.036-05:00

Alrighty, I've been a little sparse on the posts lately. Since nothing worth mentioning is happening around here, I will continue with the honeymoon recap.

One of our most romantic afternoons was spent with 2 other wonderful ladies....at the Spa! B and I splurged on a couples champagne massage at the gorgeous Red Lane Spa.

After having a drink in the waiting area and changing into our robes we met our individual massesuses who led us to our couples massage room. The room was large and warm and had an awesome shower with lots of nozzles, a large bathtub and two massage tables. We were first treated to a body scrub that was supposed to make our skin beautiful - don't know if that happened, but the scrub sure took off a few layers of my less than beautiful skin to expose whatever was beneath. B enjoyed the scrub more than I did. The scrubby stuff is very sticky and coarse and so we had to rinse off in the luxurious shower. Very nice.

And then the massage....wonderful! Loved laying next to my girl and peering over whenever I had the chance. After the massage we headed over to the jacuzzi bathtub to snuggle, drink champagne and eat some fruit. But first our girls took some pics of us in the tub.

Now, it's kind of weird to have someone take your picture while in the bathtub with your sweetie and ever weirder when they give you directions and pose suggestions...

We then took the rest of our champagne out to the lounging area and took some time to relax and reflect. Here is the lounging area before we (and our beautiful new skin) arrived.

And after.

My favorite dining experience at Sandals turned out to be the beach barbeque. Not only was the setting awesome but it was the best food we had at the resort. A huge space was set with tables and chairs on the beach and another huge space was set up with the gorgeous buffet including huge grills for the chicken, ribs, fish and vegetables.

My absolute favorite dish was the paella - I went back so many times for more that the chef eventually demanded a picture with me. Check out that pan!

I was also lucky enough to have my picture taken with a pirate (a new take on half black half white).

All the pics of B and I at the barbeque bash turned out blurry. But, I thought I'd include one that will really hurt your eyes (you can even make it bigger to cause more damage!)

After dinner we played a game and won and then headed over to the entertainment area. Our winnings: a bottle of rum and sandals necklaces.

The entertainment that night was a fire eating/holding limbo act. Interesting.

Thanks for reading! Hi mom!
Journal of a wife planning a bright future

Welcome 2009!!

2009-01-05T10:06:00.016-05:00

Happy New Year!
We went to a fabulous club this year to dance in the new year and had the pleasure of being joined by Michelle for a rockin' good time.

I never make resolutions, but I do hope and dream about the things that I want to happen within the next year. So here they are:

1. pass the CA bar
2. move to Cali
3. find a job that I am really happy with
4. support B in finding a job she is really happy with
5. get pregnant
6. come to a thoughtful understanding with B's parents
7. buy some really stylish shoes
8. visit Silas often
9. stop worrying about and resenting my student loan payment
10. take walks on the beach
11. read more good books
12. write more
13. check myself often to make sure I am making smart decisions
14. find a group of like-minded friends who are FUN!
15. expand my online friend community
16. laugh with B every day

Journal of an optimist

Today I am 1 - yippee!

2008-12-29T16:26:00.010-05:00

Hey Aunties, today I am 1!

Hey grandma and grandpap, today I am 1!

Hey daddy, today I am 1!

Hey mommy, today I am 1!

Hey great-grandma, today I am 1!

Journal of a guest blogger

Introducing....

2008-12-29T14:32:00.033-05:00

A reprieve from all the honeymoon postings to introduce the new additions to our foster kitty household: The Kittens....

Kittens are very hard to take pictures of because they never stop moving. They aren't quite walking yet, but they do a combo walk, slide, crawl as they try to control their little legs. Bella is the mom cat and she had 5 beautiful little babies, all versions of her grey and white coloring . We don't know the sex of each yet because we just can't determine the difference between a sack and a hole ... it's harder than it sounds. So, the babies don't have names yet.

In other non-honeymoon related news B and I had a very mellow Christmas day here at Casa S (holy moly, I took B's last name and now we are B & L S! I've changed my driver license, my credit cards, my bank account, my paychecks and tomorrow I will get a new SS card. It's still sinking in but I like being unified. Hello, welcome to Casa S, I am Ms. S). On Christmas eve B surprised me by bringing home a Christmas tree! Things had been so busy that we hadn't had time to pick one out and as I was settling in for a long night's study session* it dawned on me that it was Christmas eve and we didn't have a single decoration in our house. Since B is such a wonderfully attentive wife, she realized this before I did and spent all morning (while at work) looking for a tree.

So my Christmas eve turned into a tree decorating party with the family. We turned up the Christmas music, drank spiked egg nog and had a gay old time (all cats were included in the festivities).

On Christmas day

we opened a few presents,

baked pumpkin bread

and B made peanut butter balls for my birthday.

We also saw the movie Milk

and spent some quality time in bed together (picture not available).

*Last Sunday I started the grueling study process for the California bar exam. Not fun. But, I somehow have to make a living when we move to sunny Cali., so why not practice law and make something of myself.

Journal of a wannabe writer

Honeymoon Part IV

2008-12-27T14:09:00.022-05:00

Happy Holidays to all those who celebrate any type of holiday during these cold winter months. On December 25 I just happened to celebrate four holidays: my birthday, Christmas, Hanukkah and my two month wedding anniversary. Happy celebration to all of you.

The honeymoon wrap-up continues...The only time B and I left the resort was for our shopping extravaganza in the little town of St. John. It turned out to not be such an extravaganza because 1. we didn't buy much and 2. the little town was VERY little. Our cabbie dropped us off and came back 2.5 hours later, about an hour after we were bored to death and hot and could think of nothing else but a drink of something cold and full of alcohol. We were glad to see him when he rolled up.

And that's it for the town.

Dinner that night was at my favorite restaurant, Mario's. They had delicious appetizers, salads and desserts. Mario's also had the best breakfast buffet at the resort.

mmmmm, a mimosa at breakfast...

And, of course B and I danced whenever we could (with other people):

and with eachother:

That's it for now!
Journal of an employed blogger (that's right, I got a job! yippee!)

Honeymoon Part III

2008-12-22T15:50:00.022-05:00

For the next couple of days we lounged by the pools, swam in the ocean and ate and drank a lot. It was difficult at first to get used to eating 3 full meals per day. But, we didn't want to miss out on any of the restaurants, so breakfast, lunch and dinner it was, everyday. Every evening we dressed for dinner, which was very nice.

**I know** not the best picture, but I love when B dresses up.

Our dinner the second night was at a teppanyaki restaurant - very good.

When we got in from dinner that night we found these little birds on our bed.

They were accompanied by a note wishing us a happy honeymoon and treating us to breakfast in bed the next morning! We were to fill in the menu choices and hang the note on our door to be picked up. So sweet.

The next morning we had a delicious breakfast brought to our room. We dined on our little balcony. What a way to start the day. My paradise was getting better and better.

By our second day we had discovered our favorite lunchtime restaurant: Barefoot by the Sea. Beautiful view of the water and deep deep beach sand to bury your feet in while eating.

We also discovered the great nighttime entertainment hosted by our friend Onika every evening after dinner. There were at least 2 Caribbean bands every night and most often some type of game or dancing. B and I love to dance, so we, of course got out on the dance floor when we heard "time to learn Caribbean dancing!"

Now, let me tell you a little about Sandals - the fame and fortune comes from running resorts for couples, straight couples only, until a few years ago. So, naturally we were the only lesbian couple running around that week. Most every game and activity Sandals does seems to be broken into girl groups and guy groups. We don't especially fit into these categories, but we play along anyway and B gets to be one of the guys.

So, 'How to Dance like a Caribbean' is split into girls and guys groups. We all learn the same moves as we stand across from each other and then are joined back up with our partner to shimmy down the center aisle together. FUN! Until there is a dance competition for "King" and "Queen". We decided to opt out because B didn't want to compete with the guys...she's so good she didn't want the resort to have to crown a "King" with boobies.

A few days later we didn't opt out when the Sandals version of the Newlywed game was played. Ahhh, yeah! Guess who won - yep, the lesbians. We were the only team out of 6 teams to get a perfect score. It helps when you talk to your wife about EVERYTHING. I knew exactly how to fill in the blanks when B was asked her favorite activity: putting her ____ on my ____. The lesbians squashed the straights in the Newlywed game. Squashed! I am sure the straights learned a thing or two from us. And, I was amazed to learn that so may guys like to put their "privates" on their partner's back. See, we can all learn something from each other if we just listen.

Journal of a curious lesbian

Honeymoon Part II

2008-12-21T22:25:00.018-05:00

...we headed out from our room to discover the gorgeous pool with swim up bar located on our side of the resort. The resort really has two distinctive sides, the Caribbean Village and the Mediterranean Village. We stayed on the Med. side which is much newer (built in 2007), much more grand, much more hotel-like. I liked the newness of it but I also really enjoyed the ambience of the Caribbean side. We were greeted by this gorgeous scene when we approached the pool.

After swimming around a bit and drinking quite a bit at the swim up bar we decided to take advantage of the concierge service and make our dinner reservations for the week. Four of the nine restaurants require reservations. No reservations were available for the first night so we ended up at one of the no-reservation restaurants, Bayside. It was an open-air restaurant and had a gorgeous view of the beach and the ocean. This is an inside view and it seems that it's all we took of Bayside:

A little pond and waterfall just outside the restaurant:

We went back a few days later and climbed to a little balcony just to the side of Bayside and tried to get the two of us with the spectacular background:

After dinner we spent a short time at the bar and then headed to bed. I was in paradise: the perfect girl and the perfect setting!

Journal of a Happy Hanukkah!

Honeymoon Part I

2008-12-20T23:18:00.022-05:00

We're back!!! Goodbye Antigua (paradise), hello New York (snowy cold iceberg). I won't linger on the huge storm we dug ourselves out of this morning or the equally large storm that will keep us buried tomorrow, I will only linger on the incredibly awesome, romantic and beautiful week that was our honeymoon. Here's the first shot of Antigua from the airplane - it's not upside down, so don't try to tell me it is! That is water, not the sky. I know, overwhelming. (Our resort is on the left).

We were greated with champagne and hors' d'oeuvres and a cold towel when we first arrived at Sandals. It was da bomb! We had these cute green shirts that Darcy made for us - we wore them all day long while flying and we loved them. This is the best picture we have of them :( The back of B's shirt said Just and the back of my shirt said Married. Aha, how cute! But, no pics of the backs. Boo.

After munching on snacks and drinking glasses of champagne we were led to our room. Loved the room! Beautiful bed, fabulous bathroom, fully stocked bar and cute little balcony.

The view from our balcony.

After falling in love with our room and the weather (warm and soothing) we put on our bathing suits and hopped outside to explore. We discovered the pools, the drinks and the beach...

Journal of [a] to be continued...

Honeymoon, oh rainy honeymoon

2008-12-10T09:20:00.016-05:00

Honeymoon, oh rainy honeymoon, here we come.

B and I spent last evening packing. I don't like packing at all and I really don't like unpacking. I have a hard enough time trying to control all of my clothes from day to day. But having a large group of clothes sitting in a suitcase ready to be unpacked is pure torture. Until I met B my clothes would languish in piles for an embarassingly long time. Most of the clothes I wear everyday are dry clean only, this means that I can't simply throw them in the hamper. That would be easy, that would be quick, that would be do-able. But, I have to actually decide if they need to be hung up or taken to the dry cleaners, which I don't do (take them to the dry cleaners that is).

Enter the selective OCD of B. Once she starts something (that's the hard part) she does a tremendous, very detailed job of it. Lucky for me she has taken control of the laundry and my piles. Yipeee! B also just happened to have a dry clean at home kit. Love it. Love her. Now I don't have to pretend I am going to take my clothes to the cleaners anymore. My pile problems are slowly dissolving. Marriage is great!

*************************************************
A little good cheer:

This is really one of my favorite photos. Amy has been a part of my life since third grade and I love how this picture conveys her happiness for us and her acceptance of us. Amy and I have the kind of friendship that allows us to pick up the phone at any time, ask anything, tell anything and be whoever we are at the moment, even if we haven't talked in months. I like that. Amy is sweet, stubborn, level-headed and fighting, just like the rest of us, to make her life the best it can be, but most of all she is a loyal friend. I like that. Hi Aim!

Journal of girl who can't wait to have a bananarumcoconut deliciousmixedconcoction on the beach

Inspiration v Reality

2008-12-08T10:09:00.023-05:00

I started this post yesterday and hoped that I could come up with some great inspiration v reality dichotomies to share. I have realized, however, that I don't have access to all of our wedding pictures yet and that fact is making it difficult to find reality pics. So, behold the few inspiration v reality concoctions. And then just some plain inspiration.

Inspiration cake:

In reality:

Inspiration tie:

In reality:

Inspiration lanterns:

In reality:

Just plain inspiration:

Inspiration for romance:

Inspiration to make those who love you proud:

Journal of a strong believer in inspiration

Shrimp Cocktail...an abomination...

2008-12-03T23:24:00.001-05:00

Watch and laugh.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Journal of a musical wannabe

Happy December

2008-12-01T22:55:00.013-05:00

Thanks to little Silas for the potty entertainment.

I've realized that I didn't pick up my camera much during our Thanksgiving extravaganza. I have about 10 pictures and they are all of Silas. We were a group of over 25 people this Thanksgiving holiday and my camera was very narrowly focused. But, I was just too busy having fun and eating and talking to family to worry about capturing the experience digitally.

Note to self: take pictures of a variety of things when picking up the camera.

But, I do love pictures of my little guy.

Hi grandma!

Journal of a bad photographer

November 30...

2008-11-29T22:12:00.003-05:00

the day my lovely wife was born. Happy Birthday love!

B gets to spend ALL day in the car with me tomorrow. Can you think of a more perfect birthday present for her... I sure can't.

Journal of a birthday wisher.

Wedding pic preview!

2008-11-27T20:46:00.019-05:00

Today we got a few more pics from our photographer. Looking at them makes me fall in love with the day all over again. Thank you Ryan for doing such a fabulous job capturing the beauty and emotion of our most precious day.

Our Chuppah made by B's sister Sherry!

The best friend and wedding coordinator ever - Ms. Amy.

Journal of a Happy Thanksgiving!

One Month

2008-11-25T11:55:00.005-05:00

This is what I find on my wife's blog today:

I can't believe I have been married for a whole month. I have to say, it is so wonderful to find the one person who can complete your life and make it all the more beautiful. I have found that in Leah. Everyday is amazing being with her. We have been together for almost 3 years, but it feels so brand new. Whenever I am near her I just want to be close to her. I want to be touching her in some way. I love that she likes to hold hands with me, all the time. So, this blog today is for Leah, my beautiful wife.

Leah,

All my life I have dreamed of you. Okay, not "you" but, you. I knew that this is what "it" was supposed to feel like, that this is what love really is. Everyday with you is special and oh, so amazing. When I wake each morning, I (first hit the damn snooze, heehee) smile because I know you are there. I roll next to you, hold you and kiss you good morning. You smile without really waking up. I love that. I love that we hold each other to sleep every night. I love how I feel when I am around you. You make me feel so loved and desired. Thank you, for everything, being you, loving me and for saying yes to marrying me. That day is one of the best days of my life. You looked so beautiful and you looked so happy. I was happy that day, too.

So, I promise to you, to always kiss you good night, kiss you good morning, hold your hand always, cry with you, take care of you when you need it and to love you with all my heart.

Happy one month anniversary, baby! I love you!!!!!

B.

eeekkk, she makes me so happy.

Journal of a one month survivor

Toss me my bathing suit....

2008-11-24T16:08:00.005-05:00

A few photos to get me through the day.

Toss me my bath towel, I am heading to paradise...

Winter...already? Bring me my sandals

2008-11-24T10:05:00.012-05:00

I've always liked Thanksgiving because I've always liked Fall. Fall, however, is a very different season in California than it is in New York. This year on Thanksgiving day in Troy, NY the weather prediction is a high of 39 and a low of 29 with rain/snow showers. Pleasant (Ha!). The weather for Fresno, CA is predicted to come in with a high of 63, a low of 45 with partly cloudy skies. Awesome!

While I was growing up Thanksgiving usually consisted of my parents, my sister, my grandma and one uncle, a dog, a couple of cats and an outside activity. We would often play a combination of ping-pong and football and up until high school age my sister and I would ride around and around on our bikes, sometimes partaking in some roller skating or hopscotch (by high school, I was, of course, too cool for those activities, and way too cool, especially, to hang out with my little sister).

This year B is spending her first Thanksgiving with my family. We aren't headed to the warmer weathers of CA (boo), in fact, we are headed to the freezing land from which my parents originated....Pennsylvania. The weather there will be a balmy 35 on turkey day with snow showers. I doubt any of us will be ping-ponging in the backyard. I picture myself huddled next to the fire place with B in one hand and a strong drink in the other.

BUT, there is a light at the end of this cold cold tunnel. The light has a name and it is called "B and I in Antigua in 17 days." The weather in Antigua hovers around the 82 degree mark in mid December. Pack the bathing suits and sandals...bye bye snow showers...hello white sandy beaches and swim up bars.

Journal of a girl already honeymooning in her head

I look best in black and white

2008-11-20T19:25:00.017-05:00

Since I seem to be fresh out of wedding photos and protest photos, I'll take a step back in time and share a few of my secret little photos I had taken as a surprise for B. Known in the photography and wedding worlds as Boudoir photos, these little gems are sure to excite your significant other and build a little confidence in the object of the photo as well.

I had a great time posing for these shots - it was fun and freeing to take my clothes off in front of strangers (hmmmm, career possibility! Hey, I need all the ideas I can get since my career has sputtered and died). While taking the photos I channelled my best America's Top Model moves and decided that it is NOT as hard as those ANTM girls make it look on TV. Wimps.

Here are some decent ones...with clothes on...

I know, I know, you were hoping to maybe see some boobies, and while I do have some, you won't see them here. I wouldn't mind showing you, but then they may somehow get sent to my boss (wait, I don't have one anymore) my mom (hmmm, she wouldn't really care), my teachers (what? I don't have teachers)...well, whatever, you don't get to see them. Use your imagination (and make me look really good while at it).

Journal of [] the things I do for love

News Clips!

2008-11-15T23:19:00.006-05:00

more to come...hopefully

Amazing Day!

2008-11-15T20:18:00.026-05:00

Today was a very special and monumental day in our lives and in the history of the gay movement. I am so proud that this awesome movement was put together so quickly and was celebrated so widely across the country. No on Prop 8!

B and I woke up early today so that we could make signs and prepare for what we would say to the crowd in front of City Hall in Albany. We had been asked to say a few words about being married in California - to tell our story. B wrote down the sweetest speech and delivered it with emotion and inspiration:

My wife Leah and I got married on October 25th. It was beautiful and the best day of my life. Then, on Novemebr 4th, the voters in California decided to take that right away. I watched with tears in my eyes as bit by bit the percentage of votes for "yes" went up but the "no" percentage did not. I have experienced hatred before, someone yelling names at me on the street. But this felt far worse. It saddened me, and then it made me angry. To allow a majority to vote on a minority issue is infuriating. To allow discrimination to be written into the constitution is an abomination. I am here today to unite with others around the country who share this view. I am here today to ask NY to do the right thing and pass marriage equality legislation. I am here today to show that my marriage does not in any way threaten yours. I am here today to say that I love my wife!

I then grabbed the bullhorn and blabbed a little about being a native Californian and how proud I was when the CA Supreme Court granted me the right to marry...and how equally unproud I was of the people of California who then took that right away. My speech was not nearly as touching and crowd rousing as B's speech but together we stood up in front of the crowd and told our story. I was proud of us. I was proud to stand next to my wife and fight for our rights.

B and I will also be on the news tonight doing interviews as "the couple that got married in California". Check out this local article: The Record.

Journal of a girl filled with feelings of hope and community

City Hall in YOUR city - Be there this Saturday

2008-11-14T12:52:00.018-05:00

Let's all join together as a country and as people who support equality. Come out and protest against prop 8 in your city! B and I will be in Albany this Saturday - we are hoping that by gathering together we will be able to heal some of the anger and sadness we have experienced since November 4. We've been mad at California, mad that people who used to be my neighbors and teachers would vote to take away our right to join a state sanctioned institution.

Journal of a protester and her wife

This is about Love

2008-11-12T15:57:00.013-05:00

The best day of my life cannot be taken away from me....

(photos can be enlarged by clicking on them)

Journal of a (forever) married lesbian

[G]OLBERMANN

2008-11-10T23:46:00.013-05:00

Tonight I watched Keith Olbermann for the first time and he surprised me with this touching plea to the people of the US. It is heartfelt and totally honest (it even made B cry). Go Keith! Thank you Keith!

Journal of a wife ready to be political

Let's laugh a little at the situation

2008-11-06T16:35:00.002-05:00

I found this over here.

Prop 8? More like Prop Hate. My heart goes out to our friends in Cali. At this point it feels like you Californian gays are in an abusive relationship with your government. A few years ago you & Cali were all up on each other in San Fran. It got real hot & heavy, and then she threw you out. She was so into you a few months ago, but now the bitch has left you again. When will this back-and-forth be done for good? One minute you two are married, the next minute, she’s taking back her proposal and asking for an annulment. Who does that? California clearly has a lot of issues.

At least New York is like “Listen, I can’t marry you. I’m in a weird place. I understand if you need to go elsewhere. If you come back here, I’ll totally be your friend, but I’m not ready to get serious, so we can’t do this yet. If you’re ok with just hanging out, having great sex and kicking it with my friends, I’m totally your girl. But if you want more than that, you should totally move (on).” And she’s totally upfront about it. We know if we want a serious relationship, we can hop on over to CT, MA, or NJ. But NY is happy to be our steady, and she’s a GREAT TIME. She’s not hateful, she’s not waffling, she isn’t making promises she can’t keep. New York is taking it slow. I can dig that.

Journal of an optimist

Boo on those...

2008-11-06T10:53:00.013-05:00

I couldn't write yesterday because I was feeling sad and let-down. I share the feelings of many of my fellow bloggers; I couldn't even muster much happiness for Obama's victory.

On Tuesday the democrats in 7 counties in NY chose a new judge to sit on the Supreme Court. This saddens me because it wasn't an informed decision. Now a hard-working judge that has served New York honorably will no longer be a voice in our Appellate Division.

Boo on all the democrats who voted without educating themselves.
Boo on all those who voted us out of a job without knowing what kind of job we did.

Boo on all the Californians who voted yes on 8 without educating themselves.
Boo on those who believed the lies about marriage being taught in school.
Boo on those who believe in taking away another person's rights.
Boo on those who think it is a detriment to society when I marry, become monogamous to and build a family with the person I love.
Boo on those who do not understand the definition of equal.
Boo on those who fear their god and think I should fear mine.

Journal of a resounding Boo

While I wait patiently....

2008-11-03T16:04:00.007-05:00

I want to see my wedding pictures! Yes, I do! But, I have to wait patiently for our photographer to work his magic on them...so, patiently I wait...

As I am waiting, I find out that B has won a cruise. Yes, my lovely wife won an Olivia cruise THAT WE CANNOT TAKE! The cruise leaves in 3 weeks, ummmm, really short notice. The notification of B's winning came 2 weeks after we booked our honeymoon, TWO WEEKS. Why couldn't they have told us sooner, just a couple weeks sooner, and then we would be going on an Olivia Cruise honeymoon, FOR FREE*! UHHHH, I am upset, and waiting for my wedding pictures gets harder and harder the more upset I get. I can't believe we have to say no to a free* cruise.

On another sour note, tomorrow is election day and I am nervous. Tomorrow holds the potential to knock me two blows; I may lose my job and I may lose my marriage.** I have high hopes that Obama will win...if that doesn't happen, well then, three potential blows for me. It would not be a good day.

It always makes me smile to see a noodle strategically placed on my nephew's head.

Journal of a patient (NOT) blogger

*Free, as everyone knows, does not mean free. It means $477/pp plus airfare. It actually makes me feel better that it would have cost us money.

**I will definitely lose my job if my boss is not re-elected, but I probably won't lose my marriage if Prop 8 passes. I said that mostly for affect. My educated guess is that my marriage will stand, even if other same-sex couples will no longer be able to enter into civil marriage as we were. Which, of course, blows.

Reaching out to voters

2008-11-02T00:41:00.008-04:00

My B is in an awesome commercial for the judge; take a look. If you live in Albany, Schoharie, Green, Rensselaer, Columbia, Ulster or Sullivan County, please consider voting for Judge Carpinello. He is a hard-working judge and an honest and good man.

And if you live in California, please vote NO on Prop 8. My marriage to B is built on love and respect and it deserves the same legal rights and responsibilities as all other civil marriages. Do not take my right to be married away from me (or Ellen).

Journal of a voter excercising her right to have a say in things. Although I love the voting process, I read this quote recently: "I didn't get to vote on your marriage, why should you get to vote on mine?"

Halloween with my wife

2008-11-01T15:25:00.026-04:00

Halloween is awesome! It was great as a kid and is now great as an adult. B's Halloween started out by accompanying our little niece Samantha to a party. B was a sailor (half of our couple costume) and Sam was a mermaid.

After the mermaid and the sailor collected lots of candy, they returned to our house to be scared by 2 very scary black cats trying to cross their paths...

Our costume was inspired by this awesome picture I am sure you are all aware of:

We tried and tried to duplicate it, but it really didn't work that well. I look like a paper sack, all blobby and ghost-like. But, here are the best shots.

Look at my wife flirting with the next wedding dress she sees, shame, shame, shame...

Journal of a Happy Halloween!

Blog from the B, guest blogger

2008-10-29T18:24:00.014-04:00

Hi all - it's me, B, the proud new wife. L, the other new wife said I could blog here. Anyway, we got married! I have to say it was absolutely beautiful. L was gorgeous and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Here are some more pictures, including some of the ceremony. The last one is a pic of our favors. They are chocolate personalized poker chips. We totally forgot to put them out. Oh well, now we have a lot of chocolate. The whole day was awesome. I wish we could do it again. L, I love you, baby!

Sneak Peek

2008-10-29T01:07:00.003-04:00

Our first pro pic! Our photographer is teasing us with a little peek at just ONE picture....

Journal of a wife glad to be back home...kind of...it's cold here in NY.

I now pronounce you beloved wives

2008-10-26T18:29:00.013-04:00

We are married! Here are the very few pictures I could wrangle up the day after.

Journal of a married lady!

9 is a single number

2008-10-16T11:04:00.004-04:00

Nine days until I get to marry the most incredible, sexy, sensitive, sweet, sharp and creative woman.

Most things are done. Tonight we will work on the place cards again and I will color my hair a much more agreeable shade than it is right now. And somewhere in the next nine days I need to finish a surprise I am working on and write my vows.

According to weather.com the god who supports same-sex marriage is smiling on us! The weather is predicted to be 79 and sunny, with a low of 48. The low is chilly and once the sun goes down, it will get pretty cool. Good thing we added those heat lamps to the ever-expanding budget.

Journal of a ready bride

Voting for a Republican

2008-10-13T10:34:00.012-04:00

My gorgeous B and I are voting for a Republican this election. Not only are we voting for him but we have dedicated our weekends and evenings to campaigning for him. It's a strange twist for us, but one we have embraced and learned a lot from.

The most important thing we have learned is that when voting for a candidate, look at that candidate - not just the party affiliation. This past weekend we had the pleasure of blowing up hundreds of balloons in support of the judge, and once again standing at the Republican booth (not our favorite activity). While standing with the Republicans, we decided to put our newly adopted mantra (important to look at the candidate, not just the party) to work. We first spoke to Steve McLaughlin - Father, Businessman, Leader - who is running for state Assembly. He also looks a little like George Clooney.

B: Hi, I am Brenda.
S: Hi Brenda, Steve Mclaughlin
B: Nice to meet you. This is my partner, Leah.
S: Hi Leah, Steve McLaughlin
L: Hi
B: Leah and I are getting married in California and we want to know what you are going to do to bring marriage equality to New York. (L swooning over B's directness)
S: Oh, well, congratulations...blah, blah, blah, let me ask you a stupid question. What will you call eachother?
B & L: wives.
S: Oh, OK. I belive in equal rights for all people, I just don't want to call it marriage.
L: Why? What's the difference. If you want us to have all the rights of all others, why not just call it marriage? (B swooning over L's intelligent question)
S: I will keep an open mind. I don't have a problem with rights, just with the word marriage.
B: By calling it marriage, it takes nothing away from your marriage or your neighbor's marrige, or your parents' marriage.
L: We want it to be called marriage because of the social implications. Everyone knows what marriage means. Nobody knows or cares what a civil union is or means.
L, B & S: blah, blah, blah, all of us saying intelligent thought provoking things.

In the end B and I were pleased with our discussion and with Steve's open-mindedness. We enlightened him on a few issues and we appreciated his openness, his questions and the fact that he really did engage us in conversation. We aren't voting for him, but we thoroughly explored our new mantra.

We then spoke to Roy McDonald - ummm ick. We began the conversation in the same way, asking for his stance on marriage equality and his answer to ALL of our questions is that disabilities is a big issue. What? We asked about lesbians getting married. He continued on and on... The disabled don't have rights, they need help, I am here to help.....blah, blah. Yes, but we are asking about us - issues that concern us, STOP ignoring us, we are standing right in front of you, asking you questions. The disabled can get married and they have the Americans with Disabilities Act on their side, Roy. They have federal legislation protecting them, Roy. We don't. Of course the disabled have issues, but we weren't asking about them, we were asking about us.

So, Roy, you will not be getting our vote. You did not listen to our concerns, you seemed to think that we would think you were a great guy because you have compassion for people with disabilities, and you looked uncomfortable. Just be honest with us and tell us your don't support marriage equality and we would have all been happy to end the conversation much sooner.

Journal of an anxious voter

I love this statement

2008-10-10T13:41:00.010-04:00

I haven't posted much about prop 8 in California, but today I found this awesome picture and message from these two newlyweds.

I'd like to shout out a big "Thank You" to them for understanding that when same-sex couples get married it does not alter the marriage of a man and a woman.

“We are committed to making marriage available to all citizens of the world. We started with our own wedding.”

With hope and love,
Aimie & Erik

And another big shout out to Connecticut! Marriage Equality is contagious.

C'mon states, let's all jump on the bandwagon!

Journal of a blogger who adores Aimie and Erik

19 Days.....

2008-10-06T13:08:00.004-04:00

until the wedding. That is the #1 reason I haven't posted. #2 reason is that my boss is running for re-election. Campaigning and planning a wedding make for a very full plate. #3 reason is that I have no good pictures to post and what is a journal entry without pictures: boring. #4 reason is that I would rather cuddle with my FW - so I choose that whenever given the choice. #5 reason is that the last entry I wrote (that you never saw) was lost in cyberspace and I haven't forgiven blogger yet. It was a good entry too; and it didn't even have any pictures - maybe I take back #3.

Journal of a busynervousexcited girl

Ch Ch Ch Check Out This Movie!

2008-09-19T12:21:00.017-04:00

"Butch Jamie is a quirky, gender-bending comedy about an out-of-work butch lesbian actress willing to try almost anything for a role. Dressing up femme for auditions, struggling actress Jamie Klein continually faces rejection as she fails to be a typical leading lady. Spurred on by her roommate Lola's successful cat actor, Jamie decides to take a different approach and audition as herself - aka "Butch Jamie". She immediately lands a role - as a man! Her misadventures on the set include unintentionally attracting the attentions of her sexy female co-star."

In a former life I was a short-lived movie producer and I have one movie to show for it. Butch Jamie is a hilarious and well-made film that goes on sale November 18! Please visit the official film website at: www.butchjamie.com. Butch Jamie also has a fun blog to read here.

Here are some fun facts about the film:

Butch Jamie is my ex
Her name is Michelle
The film was filmed at our former house and at my former law school
Howard the cat is my cat
He is the star of the show
His real name is Huey
He can meow on cue
I am in the film at various times, playing different characters
We took a trip to Los Angeles to shoot the scenic LA shots
We paid for the film ourselves
Michelle wrote the script
I cooked all the meals we served on set
People liked them
Michelle directed and edited the film
I have a love/hate relationship with the film
I love the film; I hated making it
It has screened around the world
I am very grateful to all the people that helped with the film
Michelle is a brilliant filmmaker
Albany, NY is pretending to be Los Angeles, CA
Some of the actors are wearing my clothes
I am the inspiration for the Lola/Howard dynamic
My sexy panties appear in the bathroom
The cat on the DVD cover is not Huey
Michelle did all her own stunts
We filmed in a local bar owned by one of the actors
The end result is a tremendous film

Journal of a proud mama watching her child go out into the world

And now I can't stop thinking about it...

2008-09-17T16:24:00.006-04:00

When we were at the mall recently B made the mistake of showing me a necklace that she "might get me." Well, now I can't stop thinking about it. When I tried it on I didn't really care if she got it for me or not, but now I care. I want to wear it on our wedding day. It matches my ring perfectly. I want it. I want it.

OK, now I have calmed down a bit. I still want the necklace but I will focus on other stuff. B ordered a shirt yesterday and it should arrive soon. I can't wait to hold it up to her fabulous tie and ooohh and aaahhh about it. I have high hopes.

Journal of a greedy girl